Sillies

There is a song from Yo Gabba, Gabba called "Let the sillies out!"  (Never heard it before? You'll thank me later when you can't get it out of your head!) The song always makes me want to get up and dance and get MY sillies out...so here they are folks. Some of my sillies:
- I cannot kill a bug while outside. Why? Because I feel like I'm in THEIR home...therefore if I kill them, its murder. HOWEVER, if I find a bug in MY home, their as good as gone. Although, every time I kill a bug, and I'm not joking, as soon as I squish it, I say "I'm SO sorry!" And then squirm all the way to the toilet to flush their little bug body away.
- When I'm emailing out invoices, as soon as I hit send, I smile and hope that when my client opens it, they receive my smile! Corny, suuuuuuure. But, when I receive their checks in the mail and I get super cute notes from them in with their check, I know they totally received the smile, and are sending one back to me!
- If we sit down to eat and you chew with your mouth open, I will ABSOLUTELY tell you to "close your mouth, you look like a cow." That is my ultimate, number one, absolute biggest pet peeve. EVER. Oooooh, and the people who chew gum with their mouths open...that's nails on a chalk board to me.

I'm sure I'll come up with more sillies if I keep thinking about them...but for now, that's silly enough!

Idle hands...

I like to draw out special dates, for example, my birthday is in August and I prefer to start celebrating Mid-July and continue the festivities into...September-ish? So, really, it should come as no surprise to my husband that I'd do the same with wedding presents.

See, The Hubs got me Jack as a wedding present, 9-1/2 years ago. Pretty sure he thought that would be the end of it, "get her the cutest dog ON THE PLANET, and she'll leave me alone." Well, funny thing about that, when said-dog dies, the gifts just keep on coming. This one came in the form of a brushed metal dog-bone shaped urn to put his ashes in. And, to say I'm in love with it is an understatement.

Lets be real people, its perfect. Its sleek and unique and perfect for my puggle. My biggest concern about the dog-bone urn was that it was a teeeeeeny bit expensive (as if Jack over the years wasn't expensive, with his allergies, and sensitive skin and allergies, and sensitive belly, and allergies and ear infections, oh, and don't forget about those allergies!) But, when I told The Hubs, in typical Action Hero fashion (my uncle dubbed him the Action Hero on our first anniversary when he put out a fire with his foot...stray piece flew out of the burn barrel...) he got right on it and placed the order. Yup, that one of mine, he's a keeper alright!

So, now that Jack is in his final-final resting place, I've got to keep my mind busy. What have I been doing? What haven't I been doing...

You know when you walk around your house and you think, "oh, I should really clean that" or "man, that wall really needs to be repainted/touched up" or "wow, its time to (fill in the blank)" and that's what I've been doing. All of those things that have piled up and have been staring at me, mocking me.

Task one: (finally) stain the nightstand I assembled for Lil' Dude's room. I'm not joking, one of my girlfriends took a trip to IKEA in like, September. I assembled it within a few days, and then it just sat in the garage. Unstained. Unloved. Until, that little saying popped into my head "idle hands are the devil's workshop". Crap. So, I grabbed a brush and the stain and went to work. Lil' Dude picked out the new hardware for it...its Spiderman

Task two: round up the best plumber I know (The Hub's grandfather!) and ask him to install my utility sink in the laundry room. Ask and you shall receive...

(I know there's no sink yet...but the plumbing lines have been installed...the counter and the sink are being installed on Friday! YAY!)

Task three: Repaint the base boards and touch up the paint in the corner where Jack's house was. This one I don't have pictures of. For a lot of reasons, mostly because I didn't want to remember doing it. 

Task four: Tackle the back door.

 See, prior to us pouring the patio last summer, we had this back door...with the dog door (which, when we bought the house nine years ago we were all "OMG, Jack is going to use this ALL the time!" Except, that never happened. Jack hated the dog door. We have one photo of him near it.) which lead into the side area of our garage. And, prior to the patio, it was like the door to nowhere. No one knew about it. No one used it. It was just, well. It was just there. But then we pour the patio and the guy was all "let's add a walkway, and lets have the walkway go up to the door!" (uhm, what door?! Ooooh yeah- the door that goes to nowhere! Forgot about that!) And, when the patio was finished, that's exactly how the door looked. Like it had been forgotten. It was awful. Paint chipping off, awful caulk job. So, I took my idle hands (which, really given the other two tasks I've undertaken, they really weren't that idle anymore...) and got to work on the backdoor. Once the weather cooperated, it was smooth sailing...

All I need to do to finish the door is re-caulk around the dog door!

Task number five is coming up. I'm excited about it too because its going to change the way the front of the house looks...I'm going to paint the garage door the same color as the back door...which is the same color as the shutters on the front of the house! SQUEEEAL! I'm excited; its going to be a big change, but I can take the challenge!

I miss my dog.

 

I've found the best way for me to grieve Jack, is to talk about him, talk about our relationship and why he meant so much to me. Its been three and a half weeks, and I don't know if I'm getting visited by him constantly or being tortured. Here's what I mean:

- Its late Spring, so the birds are outside chirping. I can't tell you how many times I've mistaken it for his whine at the back door. I instinctively think, "let him in" and then, in a split second it comes crashing in on me that he's not there. That day did happen. He's gone. He's not there. 

- During the afternoons, if someone stops by and knocks on the front door or opens the garage door, my instinct is to flinch because Jack is going to start barking, and Lil' Dude is sleeping. 

Except Jack isn't here to bark. Or whine.

Its these awful daily reminders that he's gone that I don't know if they are helping me or hurting me more. Prior to receiving Jack from my husband as a wedding present, I had a hole in my heart and my life that needed to be filled. Jack filled that hole and then some.

We've talked about getting another dog (eventually!) and here's the thing, with Jack, I knew him. I knew he would never hurt my son. I knew he loved me and would (and did, on two occasions) protect me (even if the one time it was my husband who came into the room, but it was dark, and no one uses our front door...so, I appreciated Jack's response to an "intruder" in my bedroom!)

When I say I knew him, I can't explain it and I know its going to sound silly or strange or weird (really, you can insert whatever adjective you'd deem necessary here) but I knew OF him prior to meeting him. Jack was born September 21, 2005. On October 21, 2005, I'm walking in a parking lot with my mother-in-law. I said to her, "I don't know why or how or, really anything, but I KNOW something big has happened in my life and I'll never be the same." She said, "you're not pregnant are you?" SAY WHAAAAA?! No. So NOT preggo! It wasn't until November that we met Jack. I have no idea how I knew he was already born and that he would impact my life forever, but I did. God told me.

So when I met Jack, my husband held him in his arms, and his eyes met my eyes, I knew. I just knew he was mine and it was meant to be and he'd be mine forever. Again, I have no idea how, or why. I just knew he was mine.

And now he's gone. And I'm left with lots of beautiful memories of him and pictures of him but none of them can help this lump that's been in my throat since mid-April when we learned of his diagnosis. So when people walk into our house and say "Its so strange that Jack's not here" or I vacuum and realize there's a finite amount of Jack-hair left in my home, it makes me so sad I have to honestly stop what I'm doing and redirect my energy otherwise I'd be reduced to a pile of tissues. Everyday.

 

I know everyone has lost an animal and I'm not alone. But I can't tell you how attached I was to that dog. I was his and he was mine.

Today my son walked to Jack's box (which, we've got the dog bone urn on order!) and said, "mama, I miss Jack." (I wanted to break down right then) "What do you miss most about him buddy?" "when he'd run and play with me" and he walked over to Jack's toy basket (its still sitting out) and grabbed this tennis-ball-material-wrapped doughnut toy that we always played tug-of-war with...and Lil' Dude grabbed one end, and I grabbed the other and we played.

I can't remember the last time Jack was healthy enough to play. And that makes me sad. Its been at least nine months. I miss my dog. My family misses our dog. I know time will help heal this pain but for now the wound is open and fresh and painful.

Accepting applications

When I started Erinteriors, I always said that my animals were my co-workers. (Since, ya know, I don't really have a "crew"...its just me!)

Artichoke, our parrotlete, was my PR girl. Her spunky personality brought the house to life every morning. She wasn't a talker, more of a squeaker and chirp-er, but she could MAKE HER POINT! (Just like every good PR does!)

Jack, our puggle, was my VP of Operations. He inspected everything, made sure my blueprints were up to snuff (or sniff!)

Recently I've learned how empty an office can feel when my co-workers leave. Last May, Artichoke passed away- after having her for over 15 years, I woke up one morning and she was on the bottom of her house. I thought our house was quiet without her chirps or her grinding her beak.

This May, we had to put my VP to sleep. He was diagnosed with bladder cancer, and within a month of the diagnosis, he was gone. He was 9-1/2. What started as a UTI, very quickly became evident of a greater condition.

The house is so quiet now that we only have two fish left as pets. (And, as you can guess, fish aren't really that awesome at answering the phone, or making friends on a walk around the block...) Yesterday I brought home Jack's ashes. Now I'm on the hunt for an urn that's cool enough to hold the coolest dog I ever met. This is the front runner...he's currently residing in a cherry box; which is just too generic for me.

So now, I'm accepting applications. I hope the fish don't mind. 

One of the family...

I send out a lot of emails everyday. And everyday I think, "I wonder if the recipient of this email is going to click on my blog to see what other stuff I'm up to." Which is quickly followed by instant dread. "Uhm...when was the last time I updated my blog? Daaaaang, I hope they don't go to the blog and see I've been quiet for SEVEN months!"

I have a million reasons why I haven't been following up with this and I won't bore you with a single one. Why? Because who wants to read a bunch of excuses? And, I can't really think of any right now! (hehe!)

Christmas time is upon us and once again one of my clients asked me to decorate her home for the holiday season. This is the second year I've done this for her and I have to tell you, out of all the projects I design in a year, this is by far the most personal design I've done all year.

Not to take away from my kitchens and bathrooms (shout out to all those epic master baths!) but going through a families Christmas boxes that are stuffed with family photos and little "things" that accumulate throughout the years, makes me feel like part of their family and bonds me to them a little more.

Case in point, this client and I have been working together since 2011. I was eight months pregnant-out-to-here and they needed help decorating for a big birthday. She mentioned to me, "When we are ready, I want you to come back and design my new kitchen!" I said I'd love to (which I really meant) but in this business, everyone "needs you to come to their house" and everyone "needs help with a project"...so I hand over a business card and have learned that's pretty much where it ends.

Imagine my surprise when about a year later, my phone rings and that same client says, "I've hung on to your card all this time. We are ready to do our kitchen!" Saaaaaaay whaaaaaaaaaaaat?

They never call back. They loose my business card.

So I design her kitchen that summer. That Fall she calls again, "I'm going to leave all my Christmas decorations out in the family room and a key to our house on the porch. I want you to come in, go through everything, throw out what you don't like, and when I come home, I want it to be festive! Oh, and please make the mantel nice. It needs help." Tall order. That's when the bond really started. Seeing their kids photos with Santa and bonding with their dog over Milk Bones.

Over the year we did some more tweaking throughout their home and when it was time for her daughter to get married, guess who she called to plan/decorate the venue. That's right- THIS lady!

The beginning of this week I went back to her house and the same boxes from last year were laid out for me. Except this year, the house was much quieter. Their beloved dog had just passed away about a month ago, and the house was too quiet. (If you know anything about me, I'm a huge animal lover, specifically dogs- so when I was told the news of his passing, it made me sad.) As I pulled out the garland and photos of their Christmas' past, I came across photos of Santa with a puppy on his lap (and one of Santa with a full grown dog by his side). Instantly, tears pricked my eyes.

This is why I don't take my job lightly. I know some people think of designers as frilly, scarf-thrown-over-their-shoulder, drama queens (and I admit, at times I am SO that person, if only in my mind!) but the heart of what I do everyday is become part of your family. Creating spaces that you and your family will enjoy together.

So, after I stopped with the tears, I knew I had to put the Santa photos somewhere prominent.

After I laid out the garland on the mantel, I looked down at the hearth and saw a small box with the words Zeus on it, a photo of him, his collar hanging on the picture frame and knew I needed to add the Santa photos to his special spot in the house. I arranged them nicely around his box and collar, and added a vase of some "balls" (ornaments) for him to play with.

Opening your front door to a designer is a big decision. I'm here to tell ya though, when its me on the other side, get ready for another family member :)

FIIIIIIIII-YAH!

(Anyone else watch Hell's Kitchen? Each time we start the show, that song gets stuck. In. My. DANG HEAD for several days at a time. Like, getting a pot on the stove while making dinner...turn on the burner, start singing FIIIIIIIYAH! WOOOH-OOOOH!!" Then start dancing, and then add the pasta to the pot...)

So here's why I'm talking about food, because its my weakness. Not that I have a food problem, not that I overeat, not that I cannot contain myself when I see a bag of Oreo's...here's why food is my weakness. Because I cannot cook.

Simple, really. I have a difficult time in the kitchen. Shopping for food. I can walk around the produce section for hours and not be inspired. I look through a cookbook and start salivating and then wonder which store I can buy something like that from. Not make it myself. Why? Because I cannot cook.

I don't enjoy cooking. But I love food. Baking I can do. Actually, baking I totally enjoy, I make a bad-ass chocolate chip cookie as a matter of fact. And I think everything is better with sprinkles on it. The more the better!

So while The Hubs and I are watching Hell's Kitchen tonight (yeah, we are a week behind...that's what happens with a toddler, right? Although, props to us for only being ONE week behind. There are several shows that are sitting on our DVR right now, probably wondering if they got cancelled because they haven't been in our cue for several months...) the contestants had 30 minutes to create a meal based on what mystery food was sitting under the giant silver domes.

In less that three minutes, real time, they had beautiful meals sitting under domes waiting to be judged and that's when I said to The Hubs- "they only had 30 minutes and LOOK WHAT THEY MADE! I could have been in there for two hours and come up with like, chicken. And maybe a side of something that I found in the freezer. That I thawed." And do you know what The Hubs said in response? "Put any of them into a blank room and they will stand there. Uninspired. You go into that room, and things come alive. That's the difference between your passion and their's."

Oh. Well when you say it like thaaaaaaaat.

I will keep trying to cook (mainly because I need to feed my family) and keep finding recipes online, adding them to my "recipe box"...some of them I'm actually considering making. One day. Probably not soon. hehe

I'm on FIIIIIIII-YAH!

Wowza, its 2014!

A funny thing happens when you're the mom of a toddler who also works...time seems to literally just fly away. All of a sudden its January (which means a new fresh calendar; who doesn't love a new calendar smell, am I right?) and then all of a sudden, you look at the bottom of your professional email and wonder, "if a client clicked my blog link, what would they see"...so I clicked the link and do you know what I saw?! I saw that I haven't updated this thing since, er, December!

You know what's awful, until tonight, April 8th at 9pm, I hadn't even realized I still had a blog! I get so wrapped up in work and projects and Lil' Dude and our house, and the weather (the sun has made an appearance today AND the windows have been open and we aren't freezing...HELLO SPRING!) that I forget to write stuff.

I mean, let's be serious for a second, this blog isn't a serious conversation maker (or wait...is it?! Have I been in the dark and all my followers have been anxiously awaiting my next post, all the while I'm too concerned with the frickin' snow?!) Oh man, if I just described you, Soooooo sorry! Didn't mean to keep you waiting for like, five months.

Ok, so what's new over here, let's start there. Well...I've been knocking out a bunch of projects thus far this year...working on three kitchens and a basement remodel right now, Lil' Dude and I have been visiting their progress on a weekly basis; clearly he's made friends with all of the installers. (Last week while the bamboo flooring was being installed in one of my projects, he picked up a broom and got to work making a pile of dust for the guys!) One of the kitchens will be done in the next few weeks, so I will share photos soon!!

I'm also super excited that in less than a week, my business partner and I have signed two super awesome projects which are going to be amazing! Actually, because of all the projects, I've had to reinstall AutoCAD on my laptop (looooong story, but when I got my laptop back in September, we installed it, but then it uninstalled, so I had to call and have them reinstall it...) AND NOW, just last night, yes, April 7th, AutoCAD was officially reinstalled on my laptop (after uninstalling Windows 8...whatEVER Microsoft!) UUUUUGH, its been so frustrating, I'm really thankful The Hubs is a computer guru and knows how to fix stuff, because I was ready to just throw the laptop out (which clearly would have solved my problem, right?!)

Oooh, I also just finished a wonderful book by my FAV author, Sophie Kinsella!! The book was called Wedding Night, it was a lot thicker than her other books, so I was nervous at first- I mean, there aren't ANY photos in her books...(just sayin') but true-to-form, her story was fabulous and before I knew it I breezed through the 1,000 pages. (No, it wasn't that long- but for real, hold it up next to another book, looks like Moby Dick!)

Pretty sure that's all for now :)
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