Tuesday, November 3, 2009

You want me to wear a WHAT?

For the last week I've been no-good-very-badly sick. Like, watch-out, typhoid Erin is in the room, kinda sick. Ew. I decide last Thursday, after waking up with my glands the size of golf balls, I should call the dr.

So I do. "We can see you at 1 o'clock this afternoon". Awesome.

I take a shower and then I face the task of "to do my hair" or "not to do my hair". Craaaaaaap. I didn't do my hair, but it was a nice fall day outside, windy- I thought I could get away with it.

I toss on my favorite super old school Gap Athletic fleece sweatshirt, and head to the drs office. They are doing construction on the place right now, so its not really a 'healing environment'.

No, its more like, "WHAT DID YOU SAY? HU? WHOSE YOUR DOCTOR?" when you check in. "CAN I SEE YOUR INSURANCE CARD?" I hand over the card, tap my fingers and then, when she hands be back my card, "WE ARE ASKING EVERYONE WHO IS SICK TO WEAR A FACE MASK. HERE YOU GO!" and she handed me a blue surgical face mask.

Way to put a target on my back during open season.

I immediately took a seat in the back row, furthest from other non-mask wearing people and waited my turn. Thankfully, I had my book with me to occupy my time. Unfortunately, having a cold means I've also got a running nose. But since I was wearing the stoopid blue mask, my nose was now hidden. Which caused another problem when I coughed, the hot air went up towards my eyes, irritating them. (Can we talk small disaster after another, honestly?!)

Then the magical door opens, "Erin?" and I get up, speed walking my way past the other non mask wearers. I get into the exam room and ask the nurse, wtf is with the masks?

"Oh, its just a safety thing we're doing to appease people. You can take it off now."

Now I can take it off? Now that everyone has seen me in the mask from hell, with my hair looking terrible, snot running down my cheek (which was covered by the mask from hell, but whatevahs...) and cough irritating my eyes? Awesome, now I'll take it off.

As it turns out I had bronchitis...so I guess it was a good thing that I was wearing the stoopid blue mask from hell- but honestly, I felt like the biggest reject EVER with that thing on. Only in hospitals or operating rooms should blue masks from hell be worn...

End of rant.